How much validation do you need?
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Maria Rosa Chapman
Meg
There’s just so much I could stay here though. Like you said people want to help because what’s in it for them when it should be that they help to well, help the other person. This is totally another question I know so we could maybe do another one. But It’s like tipping and pain. I would love to tip people and pay for the rides and everything, but I won’t do it because my family or boyfriend or whatever is saying that poor person needs to go out of their way to help a little blind girl, you should Consider their poor dear feelings and pay them for needing to waste their time with you. And every time that I go to tip extra, that’s what this feels like now, maybe it feels extreme. Maybe I’m in the wrong but it feels conditional. But I want to pay and tip absolutely out of the kindness of my heart. Not because I’m afraid of repercussions or whatever this heavy stuff is called lol thanks guys though. 
Meg
I don’t know Maria is it abuse though? I mean from the outside looking and I’d say it’s just a very rigid boundary. It’s like now if he was joking and saying, I’m leaving you out in the snow to find your way back then that’s abuse like my dad once said you can get out and walk the 1520 miles back whatever it was. That’s not OK with me Maria but like if he’s saying Wear a new top or you’re not going I don’t know and I’m kind of dealing with tiredness and stuff right now, so I mean food for thought, you know the relationship best, but if it’s yelling and aggression and angry words and threats, that’s definitely seeming to be abuse or at least toxic, but isn’t setting a boundary something that’s rigid or has consequences so like if you raise your voice, I’m walking away? That’s a boundary. But I guess if you don’t wear that top then you’re not going, that’s more controlling you. But does it reflect his actions? Like I’m not taking you if you’re not wearing that top? That’s a boundary to me. I don’t know, tired yawning Mike drop I guess lol
Meg
Yes, absolutely agree, this is why we’re here is for the encouragement and support and thank you for letting us do that and not just shutting things down and going well. You’re not valid enough. You should be more independent and I judge you for it, thank you for not judging us. That’s kind of what I was afraid of going into this post a little bit because I have been manipulated and twisted by teachers like that And people have even observed it. They’re like you’re letting people twist your arm in small ways but like guys, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been great at standing up to peer pressure. I’ve tried to say no before I’ve tried to tell them to listen to me and there’s just been increased bullying and teachers have manipulated stuff and I would love to stand up for myself and keep doing it and trying it because it is working in small ways. But I really took a good look in the metaphorical mirror today and said hey dude are you standing up for yourself or are you just being lazy because it’s like you’re not even trying to set boundaries and I realized hey, look mirror, I am trying that’s why I’m so drained. It’s not because I never try to stand up for myself. It’s because for the first time I’m actually learning really how to do it and that it has to be done much more than how I thought growing up. The problem is the manipulation. You would be amazed how much authority, abuse, and manipulates Minors and those who appear inferior and if you don’t wanna appear inferior, you better prove the system. This is totally another topic and I could go on and on about it. It’s such an important and good topic to explore. That’s what therapy and support groups are for and of course, friends like these. 
Maria Rosa Chapman
Keys
Meg
Lol now I’m regretting the times where I could’ve played more or gone to bed earlier instead of stewing and steaming about whether I should go to school next day and make the gods happy lol. Bear with me guys I’ll be OK just heavy topics. Also like, honestly as an adult and with therapy and everything we know that they weren’t disappointed in me. They really did have their own issues and we’re just taking it out on the students from caseloads to tragic deaths and all this stuff. 
Meg
See Maria now I feel validated by your comment. This is a reason why I’m here is to find my people. Yes struggle is a good and necessary. Resource sometimes will never learn if we never ever ever struggle ever, but I mean to use that as a catalyst for learning and teaching students that way that doesn’t seem to work for me. But that’s a whole other topic like corporal punishment, and all that school stuff. anyway, my teachers did tell me they were proud of me, but I guess it was when I did a really good job or if it was Friday or whatever. But the whole, I’m disappointed in you stuff? No you’re not disappointed in me. You’re having your own issues because of what I did but me as a person no you’re not disappointed, lol 
Meg
Maria Rosa Chapman
Meg
Robert Kingett
Also this is why I have notifications on for him. He has yet to release a ramble I dislike. Same for Misfit.
Robert Kingett
Meg
The misfit angel
The misfit angel
Robert Kingett
I used to. Not anymore. For me it was more friend interest validation but I wanted to like cool things. I wanted romantic validation a lot more because I genuinely thought I was visually extremely hideous when everybody else called me, cute, multiple times, and I don’t know where this thought came from, I just thought I was extremely visually hideous so I needed the validation to erase that insecurity, but not anymore