Bad Behavior In The Bedroom From The Perspective Of Blind Folks And Others
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Blinky X
“It Was The Worst Sex I’ve Ever Had”: People Are Revealing The “Absolutely Disgusting” Behaviours That Immediately Make Someone Awful In Bed “Please, for the love of God, do not switch the tempo every 8 seconds.” Yikes. Posted on Jul 22, 2026 29 29 Comments Abby Zinman by Abby Zinman BuzzFeed Staff I'm a Staff Writer for BuzzFeed, often covering topics like love and relationships; vintage and historical content; food; and anything else the internet is buzzing about. Let's be honest: What goes on in the bedroom usually stays in the bedroom. But it can actually be pretty helpful to hear what people consider to be right and wrong, so that we can all become more respectful partners — whether long-term or just for a hookup. So not too long ago, one user on Reddit asked a super interesting (but pretty spicy) question: "Asking to those with experience: What makes a person bad in bed?" And people did not disappoint with their answers: 1. "Lack of enthusiasm, 1000%. It really doesn’t matter what does or doesn’t happen if you’re into the whole act of intimacy. I’d take a guy with erectile dysfunction and enthusiasm for intimacy and exploring all options for pleasure, over some hung dumbass who thinks it is a race to the finish line." –u/800tsi A couple lies awake in bed, covered by sheets, appearing surprised or anxious NBC 2. "It feels like they're doing sex to you instead of having sex with you. Some of the most soulless, depressing sex I've ever had was with a guy I'd fancied for ages, and he fancied me too (or said he did). The first time we did it, I was SO excited! But he'd taken various drugs and drank a lot of alcohol, and after he'd been pounding away for ages, not looking at me, totally detached. I said, 'I'm actually get really sore.' His response? 'I don't care.' He kept pumping away. I could have been any hole, to be honest! Awful. He was incredibly narcissistic." –u/HoeNamedAsh, Striking-Stick7275 3. "No aftercare (cuddling, massages, enjoying each other's time, etc). That is the main difference between feeling loved and feeling like a masturbation aid." –u/North_Research7648 Couple relaxing in bed, embracing and cuddling a cat, capturing a tender and intimate moment of affection and connection Or Images / Getty Images 4. "I grew up in the '70s and '80s. I feel like the younger generations are growing up without any educational magazines anymore, due to everything being online. Nowadays, women still read things and educate themselves, but I feel like the boys don't do this (other than porn, which obviously isn't a proper education). Please men, please go to the bookstore and read some romance novels." –Preesi 5. "When you say something like 'just like that' and they fucking speed up! This is the most annoying thing in the world. I think sometimes you mention it and once they’re consciously aware of what they’re doing, it’s hard to keep doing it. It starts to feel robotic instead of natural." –u/Interesting-Chest520, Devilonmytongue 6. "Being silent, like not a single sound coming out, so you don't know if they are liking what you are doing or not. I've dated a guy who would just lay down a stare at me when I was giving him head. That felt extremely uncomfortable." –u/Secret_n_Sunny Two people, partially clothed, lie on a bed in an intimate moment, gazing into each other's eyes with tenderness South_agency / Getty Images 7. "Poor sense of rhythm — I’m so serious. I once looked back and asked, 'WHY DO YOU KEEP CHANGING TEMPO?!' It was maddening. Please, for the love of god, do not switch tempo every eight seconds! I promise you: Slow and steady is better than a DJ who can’t pick a song. Don’t drop Darude's 'Sandstorm,' then suddenly it’s Ginuwine's 'Pony,' and now we’re doing 'Happy Birthday To You.'" –u/SexyTamara21 8. "Using porn as education material, or becoming desensitized because of it. My partner is disconnected in bed; I've tried to figure out what I need to do to get him to climax, and I just can't get him to. We used to have wonderful sex, and now he just can't reach orgasm unless he is alone watching porn. Really, though, I'm done with being upset about it, because I know it's not my problem. I'm very attractive! We're getting back together after not being together for years and the whole time I was gone, he's been watching porn and OnlyFans for years. He's ruined." –Consistent-Radio-214 9. "Hygiene. Dirty nails and smelly bits will not leave a good impression." –u/reiveroftheborder "And bad breath. It's like you can feel them leaving the stank on your neck when they kiss it." –u/lovefrommay Person showering, using a sponge on their shoulder, surrounded by steam and water droplets, evoking a sense of relaxation and intimacy Carlos Barquero / Getty Images 10. "The disappointment is real when you realize they're laying down their signature moves in a particular order. No sir, I’m not a numerical lock screen. And even if I was, it would be a different combination than your last partners." –MadameMonk
Blinky X
"The disappointment is real when you realize they're laying down their signature moves in a particular order. No sir, I’m not a numerical lock screen. And even if I was, it would be a different combination than your last partners.” Just being open about what feels good for both parties makes such a difference." –leavesmeplease 12. "Too much emphasis on PIV-only sex. Most women can't get off from just PIV sex — it doesn't always hit the right spots, no matter your size — and in fact, sometimes bigger is NOT better. Gotta get some hands and vibes involved." –u/duckyJ81, HeathenHumanist Person using a personal care device on their leg while sitting on a bed; a lit candle is in the background Kateryna Artsybasheva / Getty Images 13. "Not caring about your partner — focusing on your own pleasure and being done once you’re satisfied, no matter if your partner is or not. The occasional time not reaching mutual pleasure is fine. Rarely reaching mutual pleasure is really bad. If there's an issue, bring it up (but not right after), and start with something along the lines of 'I enjoy what we do together, but I’m not usually able to make it over the finish line with how things have been going. Would you be willing to do XYZ, or try XYZ? I’m not saying this make you feel bad, but I do feel unfulfilled and I want to work on this together.' You can always ask if there’s something you can improve on as well — but be prepared, it may be something small or petty, depending on how well they take the conversation." –u/allthecrazything 14. "Men who think it's funny and sexy to 'honk' my boobs or in any way use them as a comedy prop during intimacy. It's an instant turnoff. They are not fun bags that exist as a separate part of me. They are sensitive bits of me that hurt when squeezed like that! Maybe I should have given his testicles a squeeze in return? Strangely, more than one guy has done this too my boobs and said 'honk.' I mean, really? It's such childish behaviour. All very strange!" –u/Striking-Stick7275 15. "Talking big, like 'I’ll make you scream' and not even lasting two minutes, or not even making an effort to go down on me. One guy I hooked up with said he finds it disgusting, but still made me give him head." –cherryybuttercup A man and woman lie in bed with a surprised expression, suggesting an intimate or unexpected moment Universal Pictures 16. "Hot take, but too much eye contact. I slept with someone recently — it was a one-off and frankly pretty good, but the guy was literally boring into my eyes the entire time. I had to focus on the space between his eyes because it was so unsettling and taking me out of the moment. In my opinion, eye contact is like making out: There should be swipes of the tongue here and there, not just a wet muscle in your mouth for extended periods." –u/Spoonthievery 17. "I just can't when people say, 'Ooooh, you like that, don't you...' when it's not even a question, much less a sincere one, considering you're giving no indication that you actually enjoy the thing being done to you. But you know enough that if you say, 'Actually no...' their penis is going to deflate much faster than their ego, and they're gonna start making excuses out tell you that YOU don't know what should feel good." –bananapudding039 18. "Needing to be tipsy or drunk to get in the mood. I had an ex that would always push for both of us to get at least two drinks in because it 'made our sex better.' At that point, I don’t want to have sex at all." –u/Camelionnn Person holding a beer mug, smiling and chatting casually in a relaxed atmosphere Skynesher / Getty Images 19. "Some men need to learn situational awareness! For example, if I'm in the room and I bend over to pick something off the floor and you slap my butt or rub me while I'm bending over — yeah, cool, I'm gonna drop 'em and have a good time. BUT if I'm in the bathroom bending over, about to clean the damn litter box and he tries the same thing, I am not gonna drop 'em and have a good time while staring at the cat poop in the litter box. Also, there's a difference between a woman happily cooking in the kitchen and a woman silently cleaning the kitchen; the first one is a 'yeah, sure go ahead,' and the second one is a 'touch me and you can drink the dirty mop water.' Situational awareness, men, it makes a difference." –Ok_Butterfly_9322 20. "Promising sexual acts and then never doing them. So many guys sext about oral and then never actually do it in the moment. If you don't like it, fine, but don't say you love it and never go down there." –u/Haberdashery_
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Blinky X
21. "A dead fish. Don't just lay there. Match the motion. Use hands. Talk if that’s your thing. Kiss. Act like you’re enjoying it. I’m not saying to fake it, but if it's not up to your liking, ask to change positions you may enjoy better. Or move it to a different location. There's nothing wrong with spicing things up to see if it helps. On the other hand, if multiple partners are starfish/pillow princesses, maybe something these guys are doing isn't eliciting enthusiastic consent. Worst case scenario, they may actually be freezing as a response to discomfort and hoping it will be over soon." –u/FergusMacleod6 A couple kisses passionately in bed. The woman has a floral tattoo on her arm, and the man is shirtless. Intimate and affectionate setting Westend61 / Getty Images 22. "Saying any sentence starting with, 'My ex used to...' OK, awesome, I definitely won't be doing that then. It's very counterproductive to what they want. They're phrasing a request like they've cast you in a competition you're apparently already losing." –SubmergingOriginal 23. "This is so random, but I hooked up with a guy once, and while he was going down on me, he BIT ME. Hard. It hurt, and I kicked him. He asked, 'Can you tell it’s my first time doing that?' We never had a round two." –EndAlternative6445 24. "Sex language skills — in other words, thinking it's all about my dick. This isn't porn, and I'm a real person with real emotions. Placing expectations on me to meet their needs without showing any concern for our collective needs as two people sharing a most intimate sensual, sexual experience turns me right off." –deadpandadolls Two people lie in bed under white sheets, with their feet playfully intertwined, suggesting intimacy and connection Erdark / Getty Images 25. "You have to admire the person you are making love to. Even if it is superficial. If the enthusiasm is lacking, it will be lacklustre." –Tough_Antelope5704 26. "When men treat lady parts like they are rubbing a stain out of carpet, then perform as if they are using a jackhammer." –No-Celebration3097 27. "Unwillingness to try anything other than missionary. I was with one girl who literally would not do any other position. Borrrrrring." –ngordy2 28. "Less than 2 minutes, and then go to bed when he's done. No second round, and no consideration of what you want." –u/Magenta-Magica 29. "Using toys without the other person's permission. Yes, I like spontaneity; however, I do like to research what goes in my body. I had a guy surprise me with a bejeweled back-door plug a couple years ago. Everything was going great until I heard him scream, 'OMG! Your ass ate the back-door plug!' I’ve been scarred ever since." –Accomplished_Toe6025 Hands in handcuffs rest on a bed, suggesting themes of intimacy and restraint Arman Zhenikeyev / Getty Images 30. "Bad sex is usually a result of lack of interest in the other person's pleasure, or a lack of respect for their boundaries. If you want to be a good partner, you need to really care about making them feel good, meaning figuring out what they like and what they don’t. A big pitfall for guys is that they approach sex with the perspective that they need to show off or impress the other person, when in reality, they shouldn’t be thinking about themselves at all and should be focused on their partner. Whereas a big pitfall for women is that they approach sex with the perspective that their mere presence is a gift to the man and they shouldn’t have to lift a finger beyond that. In reality, sex is not given or taken, but a mutual activity that should be exactly as pleasurable for both parties." –jezz555 31. "This was the worst bedroom experience for me, personally: I was having a one-night stand with this guy, and he was fingering me. That part was already bad, as it felt like he was trying to get a smudge off of a glass surface, despite me telling him it doesn't feel good at all. While that was happening, he literally said, 'So, is it hard working at the vet clinic, you know, with all the euthanasias?' Mood gone." –gamercat97 32. "When you specifically tell them, 'It feels best when you do it like this' and show them, and they still don't fucking do it. Even after multiple times. When someone is not making the effort to try to make it better for you, they're shit. Don't assume that just because you communicate it, your partner will actually oblige." –Own_Presentation_786 33. And finally: "Instead of listening to their partner on what things they like or dislike, going on the internet and typing: 'Asking to those with experience, what makes a person bad in bed?'" –Spino8 Person lying in bed, resting with an arm over their face, suggesting relaxation or contemplation in a personal or intimate moment
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Nicole a.k.a. the Brassknucklebeauty
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Uzi Cue
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Nino
😎 for real. … that quiet as a church mouse crap, come on now. This is not the time to be modest. … because if I hit you with that move, then you’re trying to say I want to kill you, but you weren’t saying anything before.
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Blinky X
Replying to @user329348: AudioLoading reactions…
Blinky X
Replying to @Uzi_Cue: AudioLoading reactions…
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