Ramble for June 18, 2026 more adhd and wondering what a people pleaser is and more just being Dane
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DevilishAnthony
Dane Stange
Anthony, may I please tell you, I really appreciate this? This is a whole different outlook and I really appreciate you.
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Dane Stange
Man. And I thought that I was going to get screamed at and called the degenerate asshole. I’m so grateful. There’s so much I want to say. It really makes me think about my own personality, I personally was not trying to start anything, I just find a lot of things interesting. And then sometimes people like to sort of go out of their way to mess with others, even more than I do. There is approaches to things, and I’m still learning all this too. I’m 25, and there’s still a lot that I don’t know. I’m so grateful, really. Thank you once again. I don’t really know what else to say, I don’t know how to show, but I really appreciate this. it really opened my eyes, and I want to be a better person. Also, yeah, this is totally scattered. Also, the bozo thing is because one time Chris rabbit called me a marijuana bozo clown. but I will do a big apology, I should not have engaged with that Zed Web. That guy really sent me into a sprawl, but it’s my fault because I enabled it. I interacted with him. But that’s neither here or there. Thank you for explaining to me what people pleaser is. I’m sorry about the drama.
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Meg
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Tactile Nomad
Juice WRLD is class! RIP far far too young!
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Tactile Nomad
Being a people pleaser, as Anthony has very astutely pointed out is often a survival mechanism behaviour pattern. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of things like this in my years as well. Often is not there 1 if not both Parents being very domineering in a child’s formative years. Sometimes it can even be the child and one of the parents learning to accommodate the other Parent that brings this about. people pleaser as an insult is often used without not truly understanding its origins and complexities. The book Running on Empty , By Jonice Webb PhD and Christine Musello PsyD goes into this and other related subjects in much more detail giving various examples along the way. You’re probably not broken mate, you’re just sadly relatively normal. It’s often the folks who have had a supportive family dynamic whether it’s Parents or others, who are in the minority. The healthier minority but still the minority. . Chris Rabbit ?I haven’t heard that name and probably close to 15 years maybe even more for Christ sake that’s wild!
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Dane Stange
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Tactile Nomad
Megan, what you’re describing there with your friend is the classic example of infantilisation Sometimes we get this from our parents who don’t recognise us as mature, capable adults who just happened to be blind or and or have a disability or disabilities. As folks who are blind, we are often thought off in wider society as lesser. You make an excellent point though that as folks with disabilities we can also naturally because of this conditioning fall into the people pleaser category. . I would definitely try a drinkable pizza. The Japanese are a fantastic folk!
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Dane Stange
Don’t worry, later on after I’ve processed a whole lot, I will reply with a very long, proper audio message. Because I think I understand this, this is how I sometimes feel around my father, like I have to satisfy him all the time. But I’ve learned, I don’t have to. I should just say how I feel, I don’t have to abide by anybody’s wicked standards. All I should do is be the best version of myself that I can be, eh there bud? there’s probably more to it, but again, that comes with processing. I’m so grateful, I’m grateful that you people are so kind and patient. I love you a lot in my heart and I don’t know how to tell you, but thank you.
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Tactile Nomad
Megan, I can guarantee you that you are not alone with your experiences with this person who believes they are assisting you. The reality is and I’m sure you know this yourself, they aren’t there controlling you. Even though it comes from a place of perceived kindness, it’s a control issue. It is very difficult to stand up for yourself especially in the moment. Often as well, it’s not helped by the blindness community who would rather put you down than support and encourage you to stand up, advocate for yourself. It’s also very difficult for your friend because they are used to doing something in a certain way or more accurately seeing you in a certain light to readjust as you would grow in confidence. Furthermore, in wider society from my experience there is a very very thin line between being perceived as an independent human being who happens to have a disability and is standing up or advocating for themselves and establishing their own agency and being perceived as ungrateful, or Simply bitter These are not in significant adjustments for either party.
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Tactile Nomad
Dane what you’re describing there with your father is difficult and incredibly common! It might sound a bit obvious because of the traditional binary parenting set ups. However, if it’s the father who is dominating that often comes from a place of insecurity, lack of communication skills, and lack of emotional maturity sprinkled with a heavy seasoning off patriarchy conditioning. When it’s the mother who is doing the domineering it comes through a place of the same things as well as matriarchy and ironically some patriarchy conditioning in their behaviour as well. In a healthy family dynamic the ideal is that our parents raise us to be independent whilst knowing that we always have a supportive family nest to return to F and or when required. Everyone’s just trying to figure it out including Parents, but there’s a lot of Parents who just don’t have the emotional maturity and cognitive empathy to be able to effectively offer a supportive, nurturing environment for their kid. . It’s difficult and Best taught and practised in a therapeutic setting even as an individual but one thing that can help is to rather than fight against a Parents own conditioning and try and be heard. Because of dynamics were often seen as the younger and therefore less knowledgable person in the dynamic but, I find that for my own self preservation and mental health to look at Parents through a compassionate lens. Compassion, it does not mean that you tolerate a lack of respect and lack of acknowledgement of being an independent human being from your parents. But compassion means that in this context you might be able to understand what made them the way they are and understanding helps to move you forward as well as provide a supportive mental scaffolding for F under when you need to establish boundaries to protect yourself.
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Dane Stange
I love the way you said that, you described that the way my mom would. She’s all about emotional intelligence and considering others and things. Man, you write so clearly. You’re very intelligent Mr. nomad, I would love to smoke and tactile marijuana with you in tactile nomads land.
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Tactile Nomad
Cheers Dane. In generally a very modest person but modesty doesn’t mean I can’t accept a compliment. I’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons along the way to get some of the wisdom I have. Lived experience, lived experience my friend. Absolutely Will get a chance to say hello hopefully over the weekend.
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Dane Stange
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