How long does it take to learn new behaviour and can it be done?
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KerryHoath
Chrysalis
Pumpkin pie spice latte
I don't believe there is a timeline on how long it will take someone to change. Then my question is, who cares? I'm old enough to know that no one is going to change unless they want to. Yes, mentors are good, supportive people are good, Good role models are good, being surrounded by people who would never take advantage of you, that's good also. But outside of things like that and maybe a couple of other things, adults are going to be what adults want to be an adults are going to be The only thing that adults know to be. People are products of their birth, their genetics, their economics, their housing, their education, and about 1000 other things. There's no way that I can look at a 30-year-old person and say, oh, they just need to change. You cannot change or modify in any type of way that person's past or current status in life. That all affects who they are. Or rather, who they present to be. Because I do believe that some people, they're outside behavior, does not 100% Really show who they are as a person but perhaps they are doing things for for me survival. In any event, they are, who they are. And looking at it further, change to what? Is there a behavior manual we can refer to to say, oh, this person's behavior is way out of the norm. What is the norm? There are some basic levels of nice behavior but they're still no scale. There is no target range. Who determines whether or not that person behavior is now appropriate??? I say, let people be people. I do. I do get mad at them sometimes and I fuss about it but in the end, there's not a damn thing I can do about who and what they are. I tolerate them if I can, maintain my distance if necessary, or even let them go completely if the need arises. Other than that, I accept people as they are because I want people to accept me. And I have had people let me go as a friend or even a romantic partner. I'm so confused by this and I get offended and so forth but in the end, they had a reason. There was something about me or something that I said that they really did not like to the point where they would let me go. This was hurtful but it was what it was. I think I'm fabulous but I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm not going to please everyone. That's OK. We can't change people. 
Jenny Suchan
KerryHoath
Chrysalis