I just need to talk about this with someone, hope it's OK to share this with you.
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Sky pilot 77
Luke Delgado
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Nomad Nick
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Stefan
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Nomad Nick
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Igor
It’s so hurtful to be deprioritized like that, I don’t understand how given the relationship you described someone can still behave like that. I hope for your sake you are able to get to the bottom of it at some point.
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Rachel B
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Dannotations
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King Tripple Whopper
Unfortunately, this is actually very common psychologically for people to do this to childhood best friends. The reason being is that when she took on the married wife role/identity, most people do not or throw out that old childhood identity, which unfortunately includes friends and or a friend that they really were close with that one time. To her, this is her new life and identity now which includes his friends and whatever comes along with that married identity. For example, maybe those friends all are married themselves or have children and married at the same time if that makes sense! It is unfortunate, but very common. Sometimes it’s just better to move on And heal and just do your own thing now! There will always be great people that will always come into your life.
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Mark Driesenga
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King Tripple Whopper
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King Tripple Whopper
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Jasmin
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Dannotations
Good luck, Jasmin. I heard it in your first ramble - you already have the answers. You'll come to terms with it all eventually. I have a friend who sometimes does the same thing, he calls and I let him talk his way through his thoughts and emotions and he finds his own answers or breakthrough. I would've left a long comment but I didn't think you needed it. Sometimes active listening is helpful, even therapists use it. :D
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LordLundin
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Casey
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King Tripple Whopper
Yeah, totally understand the loyalty and I respect that. But, you just never know it could be her husband too that really made it such a huge influence in regards to you and your friendship with her specifically. Like I said before you be amazed, how powerful a partner can really change a person!
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King Tripple Whopper
I think your situation is different, though Dan! Like I said, before, you can have that friend that has always been the one where you listen to them expressed their frustrations or just venting from the very beginning, but this is much deeper in my opinion from hearing her message referring to Jasmine.
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King Tripple Whopper
Informally outside of counseling I’m not going to have somebody that literally only uses me to vent to! If that’s all the conversation where it’s one-sided, then I don’t know why people stick around to be truthfully honest! If that’s all they ever come to you for Dan is just venting their problems and negativity, then what’s the point of being a friend with them? I get the act of listening and you’re totally correct about that in counseling, but you’re not a counselor you’re dealing with this person informally! On a personal level!
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Dannotations
Hey there, Buddy, I apologize, I missed your audio message earlier when you mentioned me. I don't have time to listen to all and texts are quicker to engage with. But to respond to your last text messages, I think there was a little misunderstanding. I won't say much out of respect for my friend's privacy, but we do talk about many other things besides personal struggles. I said he opens up "sometimes."
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Dannotations
Also, using skills including those used by counselors is a good thing to improve communication. There are self-help books and other such texts based on theories, approaches, and principles from psychology and other fields. It doesn't hurt to incorporate them in one's communication toolkit. I'm nowhere near an expert, but I do try to learn such concepts including those found in the Bible for my personal use.
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Dannotations
Last thing I'll say about this because I don't want to derail Jasmin's ramble too much is that sometimes when a person is a friend, circumstances come up when they have to act as a wall to bounce ideas or as a punching bag for their friend to release frustration or pent up bad emotions. Walls and punching bags don't talk. And just to avoid any misunderstanding, I'm speaking figuratively here. Think of this as similar to when a mother is called the tree of the family. Feel free to message me privately if you wish to continue so we don't derail this ramble.
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Artemis
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King Tripple Whopper
No, her friend’s not hiding anything from her. She’s just avoiding her because she’s living a married life now and her identity has changed over the years!
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scabbs
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