Ramblio

Shane

6/2/2026

May sound slightly arrogant and I don't mean it to, but being smart and knowing that I am wasting the potential that I have to do better because of being depressed over previous failures and using substances every day to numb it. Have been offered a lot of help too from a lot of people that know me. Never really went anywhere except for a few times. Worked out for a few months but the minute it was over, it's like the laziness took over and I just kinda gave up again. Lastly, I hate how aware of it I am. Every day. But if you think about it, that's actually a normal, helthy reaction. Just don't feel like I have the energy to change it. Everythings whenever I feel like doing it and life doesn't work like that. If I had to meet a deadline or had something due the next day when I was in school, I just did that shit the night before. I hate that I am unmotivated which beggs the question that someone else asked earlier in a response, "Because of the soft bigoted low expectations, were we programed to be low effort and lazy? Is it normal to constantly think about things that you could be doing and picture them vividly in your head, but have an invisible mental berrior that forever holds you down?

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